Here we are approaching the end of February. (I’m not sure how that happened.) Realizing this today, I took a moment to reflect on my One Word journey so far.
First off, I celebrate that I am finding contentment in my life daily. It is often little and easy to miss. But it’s there. The believe the love I have lost will find me. Knowing this makes the journey a success so far.
That being said…
In my neat and tidy mind, where everything fits in symmetrical boxes, I mapped out areas of my life. Areas where I wanted to find contentment.
I checked off “content with my health” because I felt this was achieved. Then, after visiting my neurologist the second week of February I find myself back at square one. Everything I was content with: my dystonia, my medication regimen, my daily life, blown out of the water and catapulted deep into the sand. Several weeks later, I find myself still trying to dig my way back up to the surface of the sandy beach. I will soon venture into a new and unknown world of dystonia. I find this thought very, well,— uncontentful. (My feelings clearly justify the creation of a new word!)
Now, back to my boxes. I had originally decided I would focus one area of my life, my family, where I concluded I was the closest to achieving contentment. Become content with my family, check off the box, easy.
Do you ever wonder if God gets so frustrated with mankind, he pulls out his hair? I think I am making God bald. God asked me if I actually thought finding contentment was going to be as simple as checking off boxes. Could my journey be successful without God?
Godliness with contentment causes great gain. ~ 1 Timothy 6:6
It’s the end of February and I’ve already tossed aside godliness.
It seems my year long journey quickly morphed into a conquest. I’m not surprised. If you know me, you’re probably not surprised either.
Contentment. Baby steps.