For all of my gluten-free friends out there, do you ever have a dream in which you accidentally eat gluten? I have one of these dreams every few months. In the dream, I realize a split second too late that I have mistakenly swallowed something containing gluten. Then comes the dread of knowing that I will soon be very sick.
Well, this dream became my reality last month. It only happens to me on rare occasions now. I’m an old pro at the gluten-free thing. And 99.9% of the time, it comes from cross contamination so I get to play the: “What did I eat that could have made me sick?” game. I would prefer this game any day over realizing that I just ate gluten. Anticipation is worse than wondering.
My husband, who loathes celery (Seriously, it is way more than just a dislike.) left a few pieces of celery in his salad bowl at dinner. Without thinking, I swiped a piece of celery and ate it. It was coated with a dressing that contained wheat starch. Crap.
Crap. Crap. Stinking crap. I can’t believe I just did such an incredibly stupid thing! CRAP.
I knew the second I ate it that the dressing wasn’t GF. What in the world was I thinking? Now, all you people whose bodies don’t despise gluten are thinking, “Come on, just a tiny piece of celery with a tiny bit of salad dressing, what harm could that do?” Oh, so much harm!!!!
I knew that I was going to get sick, but I didn’t know how sick. Would I be head in a trashcan sick? Or stuck on the toilet sick? Or both? Would it happen quickly? Would it take awhile? For me, the reaction is either immediate or around 9 hours after the fact. Turns out, my time came at 3 AM. To spare you all the super fun details, let’s just say I was up for most of the night.
I would love to say this won’t happen again, but it will. That’s just a fact of life for us Celiacs. Live and continue to learn.
Moral of my story: Don’t put celery in your husband’s salad.